Saturday, November 30, 2013

Review: Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994) [26-32]

Season 2! Surely, things get better from here... right?

"The Child" (4/10)
Out the gate with some "Woman's Right to Choose" -ness. Don't explore space, you may get space-raped and then space-pregnant. And then HUH? Oh right, Whoopie Goldberg is supposed to be in this show...
Like "Haven," the plot is some annoying-ass Betazoid boring bullshit, this time about an inexplicable Coppola's Jack Jesus child and Troi's reaction to it. Also some specimen transportation and Wesley struggling with... something or other. Grugh. I can't believe I miss Beverly Crusher, but seriously, this new doctor can go fuck herself.

"Where Silence Has Lease" (5/10)
Ah, the Mr Bigface episode. Worfsploitation continues.
Not that I don't appreciate procedural exploration but something about the way they break up the A Plot (the Worf stuff or the new FUCKING doctor's useless dialogue) makes it all a bit tedious. It picks up a bit towards the end, and like an olde school episode, nothing is really solved save they escape with (most) of their lives. More exile -- I'm guessing they post a sign outside the anomaly that says something like "dont go into here lol."

"Elementary, Dear Data" (5/10)
Wait... Data is Holmes in this scenario, so the title refers to- ohhhh, I get it, he's having fun wrong. Good thing that drunken whore of a new doctor explained it to me.
This is the second time a Holodeck program has gotten out of control and almost fucked up the ship. Someone going to talk to the design team and download a security patch? One that, you know, doesn't allow programs to extend their power beyond the confines of the Holodeck... just a suggestion. Picard knows that Moriarty is a murderous fiend, right?

"The Outrageous Okona" (5/10)
The Enterprise meets Captain Malcolm Reynolds and mild forms of wackiness ensue. Uh oh, Riker, looks like there's a new rapist in town.
I mean, this is the sorta thing I'm talkin about. Starfleet can just answer distress calls all over the fucking place, even if it means protecting a sex criminal with a sweet pony-tail and starting some intergalactic incident involving two civilizations? I imagine the Vulcan way of handling this is so much fucking better, where his brand of outrageousness is not tolerated and they isolate his ass until they can dump him on a planet where he can fend for himself. Then again, turns out he's a nice man in the end and totally not a rapekiller. I'm just sayin.

"The Schizoid Man" (5/10)
FUCKING NEW DOCTOR. Ooo, near-warp transport, that sounds familiar... and I love this Vulcan hottie, why the hell isn't she a major character?
A lot of focus on Data this season already. Hmm, I'm not onboard with it. It's like they decided they needed the Enterprise crew to acknowledge how weird he is, so that the audience is sure they aren't insane. Never mind that the crew would be used to him by now. It doesn't help that the episode itself is very bland and forgettable. In fact, what happened again?

"Loud as a Whisper" (5/10)
A guy with 80's hair experiences that frightening moment when everyone on your away team starts turning into skeletons.
I run into another typical complaint of mine, which is that the silent mediator should have been more alien in appearance. Some kinda reptile? I get that the producers probably want aesthetic distance for the audience to relate to the drama of the story, but is Star Trek really about that? Look at the ending: we aren't really shown a successful peace negotiation, but that having the confidence to attempt it is the actual victory. Pretty classy, and it deserved better execution.

"Unnatural Selection" (5/10)
Sweet, we're finally taking this cunt of an MD to task. And Jesus, does Wesley have to drive the ship all the fucking time? He didn't even graduate.
I have a bit of a soft spot for Germisodes because it requires the crew to scientifically evaluate the situation and think carefully before proceeding with containment, instead of reacting all emotionally to it. You have no idea how hard I was pulling for some Prometheus-ass shit to occur once the genetically engineered human was awakened. Sadly, Pulaski wasn't strangled to death, just infected. And she survived. OH WELL. (I'm surprised the transporter and/or Data aren't used to solve every problem.)

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