"Dagger of the Mind" (4/10)
Kirk heads to a critically lauded criminal facility, so of course there's something evil about it. Where that South Park episode comes from. Is this for criminal rehabilitation or against it?
-- Kirk sure has a lot of old flames running around, and they all seem to be indirectly related to something nefarious. Pfft. SPACE WOMEN, am I right? So, this one is almost almost okay, just... I dunno... stagnant.
Kids run a planet -- does this thought really scare people anymore? Why does this place look like Earth again? Poor Yeoman Rand.
-- Next time scan for germs or go down in some damn contagion suits. I'm impressed; usually, children are worse actors but they really convinced me that they wanted to squeeze Kirk's balls like grapes. Or whatever was actually going on in between my "Get on with it!" screams.
"The Conscience of the King" (4/10)
A murder amidst that horrible time before the invention of the holodeck. We may or may not be in Brazil.
-- I remember the Voyager equivalent being a little more Manhattan Project than Final Solution. Both are like "I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO" and such. Couldn't tell you how this one compares to it other than Kirk doesn't move his ass on the seduction or keep the other witness under closer watch. Eh, fuck it, he wasn't a main character anyway. Little does Kirk know, he will be forced many times in the future to kill people for the sake of some larger cause. Wacky!
"The Galileo Seven" (4/10)
Spock is in charge of a stranded crew and mostly makes a mess of things. Giants for some reason.
-- "C'mon, how serious can this medical emergency be? My fucking crew members are going to be torn apart by giants if we don't help them. You heard me right, GIANTS. Go fuck yourself into the brig, asshole." Yeah, that's what I'da said. That, and "Oh, so we do have a shuttlecraft."
"Court Martial" (5/10)
Kirk is out of his element. A young Aaron Sorkin has an orgasm.
-- In spite of not explaining how hacking the computer messed up the chess program, the mystery was solid and clever. It loses points in the end for clumsy story cleanup with a voice-over and possibly the worst obvious-stuntman-in-a-fight I've ever seen. Shame.
"The Menagerie, Part I" (4/10)
Aw hell, we have to make use of that other Pilot we shot.
-- Started off strong, love the idea of a crippled, fffffffucked up Captain Pike even if he isn't played by the same actor. Once Spock's intentions become clear, interest levels drop sharply, and his court martial is largely "The Cage" presented as evidence. But like... the fact that it's beaming to the Enterprise from the planet seems evidence enough. Do we really have to watch the whole thing? This isn't the clitoris episode of Seinfeld, after all. How's that for an outdated legal reference?
"The Menagerie, Part II" (3/10)
Further adventures of the Inexplicable Clip Show. Fuck it, change the ending.
-- Even more of "The Cage," with a stupid conclusion. The guy that accompanied Kirk wasn't real the whole time... WHAT? Watching and hating this really uncovers how biased I am towards that first pilot. I hope marginalizing the cost effectiveness was worth this diversion into nonsense. IE it wasn't.
"Shore Leave" (4/10)
Kirk learns the value of punching out one's problems. I wonder if that ominous antennae in the foreground is responsible for all this?
-- A strange and goofy one, probably a better benign all-powerful being episode, and I enjoyed the Kirk fistfight... still... It's a whole lotta hullabalufft for what turns out to be nothing in the end. Eh, maybe it'll grow on me.
"The Squire of Gothos" (3/10)
What happens when a fauntleroy gets unlimited powers? Things get tedious is what.
-- I'll retract some misgivings about the previous episode; at least it wasn't THIS. And I really thought we were graced with getting out of the situation early, but no. NO. Trial. Swordfight. Soooo, is his power derived from the technology, or does it amplifiy it? Space parents intervene, just like last time, and we all learn a valuable lesson about absolute power and blah blah blah.
Kirk tries to get that snitch while no one wants to point out the ensuing irony once the story takes a weird turn.
-- I looked forward to getting to this, because it was more well-known and also famous for the awful fistfight. What initially looked like it was going in a "Balance of Terror" type direction turned into all-powerful-hypocritical-being-acts-as-mediator ballstits. These beings don't see their flexing of power as aggressive and they're trying to teach US peace?! Fuck em! And fuck you too for good measure! Sorry. But I! Sorry.